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that which must be endured | No thought control

https://nothoughtcontrol.wordpress.com/2011/04/02/that-which-must-be-endured

My heart of darkness. Apparently, I fail humanity. That which must be endured. April 2, 2011. I wish i could just cut her out of my life. She wouldn’t understand and would rally the family. There’s been too much drama already. The old man is a drunken craven fool who is a manipulative cheating bastard and likes to wheddle her case. But i am alive and can avoid her most of the time. That has to count for something. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Apparently, I fail humanity. Enter your comment here.

nothoughtcontrol.wordpress.com

Depression | No thought control

https://nothoughtcontrol.wordpress.com/depression

My heart of darkness. I’m so depressed since I missed your party. Me too, OMG you should have totally been there. 8211; Example of bad mood NOT depression. Depression is very misunderstood too. I’m not lazy but there are days I literally cannot get out of bed. In an average day I get headaches, neck aches, nausea, inability to concentrate, dizziness, inability to be with people, sad, lonely etc.I often think of hurting myself but my rational mind is rational. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. I’m back&#4...

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Apparently, I fail humanity | No thought control

https://nothoughtcontrol.wordpress.com/2010/11/04/apparently-i-fail-humanity

My heart of darkness. That which must be endured →. Apparently, I fail humanity. November 4, 2010. Right, I’m back from my unofficial hiatus. Real life has been kicking my ass and the blog just fell by the wayside. I had posts composed about quotas for women, catholic church and plenty of NAMA but somehow I never had the time to put fingers to keyboard and articulate my opinions. Of course the cold black cloud of depression makes every single action that much more difficult. Life sucks right now. Fetch m...

talesfromneweurope.blogspot.com

An Englishman in New Europe: korrik 2007

http://talesfromneweurope.blogspot.com/2007_07_01_archive.html

An Englishman in New Europe. E martë, 3 korrik 2007. Has the European Commission gone utterly bonkers? While it understandbly wishes to shake of its rather dusty and dry reputation - was a video depicting multiple copulation scenes from European cinema not a bridge too far? The EU is great, it's necessary, and it's noble.but I don't think it'll ever be sexy. Try again, Ms Wallstrom. Postime më të reja. Postime më të vjetra. Abonohu te: Postimet (Atom). The paprika palinka effect. Visit these blogs too.

talesfromneweurope.blogspot.com

An Englishman in New Europe: mars 2007

http://talesfromneweurope.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html

An Englishman in New Europe. E shtunë, 31 mars 2007. Arabian Adventure coming up! In spite of a mild hangover brought on by that deadly concoction of sparkling wine, crushed strawberries and dark beer, I must say I'm in sparkling spirits today! I've just found out that I'll be spending nearly a month in the Middle East (in the United Arab Emirates, to be more precise). I'll be leaving in just over a week, after spending the Easter weekend in Berlin. E diel, 18 mars 2007. Livin' it large in L'viv. Lengthy...

nothoughtcontrol.wordpress.com

Grey | No thought control

https://nothoughtcontrol.wordpress.com/2009/06/23/grey

My heart of darkness. How do I feel? But it’s different with you… →. June 23, 2009. I want to slice my wrists open until blood is flowing down my arms, changing the grey of my life to red, staining the sheets. But I don’t because it would cause too many questions. There must be some kinda way out of here. Out of the grey, dead feeling of my brain. Out of the cold of the unfeeling place. I exist but I do not live. I am grey. I hate this life. I used to be alive. This entry was posted in Uncategorized.

nothoughtcontrol.wordpress.com

How do I feel? | No thought control

https://nothoughtcontrol.wordpress.com/2009/03/27/how-do-i-feel

My heart of darkness. How do I feel? March 27, 2009. I don’t know. Things should be better but I’m having difficulty assigning a scale to how depressed I am. I’m not cutting but I think about it – a lot. It’s only day 2 on lexapro so I can’t even tell what I feel apart from tired, manic, insomniac and other contradicting feelings. I’m smoking like a chimney and wandering around in my nightdress. I don’t know how other people manage? How do you hold down a job with manic/depression? Enter your comment here.

nothoughtcontrol.wordpress.com

But it’s different with you… | No thought control

https://nothoughtcontrol.wordpress.com/2009/06/30/but-its-different-with-you

My heart of darkness. I’m back. No choice really →. But it’s different with you…. June 30, 2009. My mother’s friend’s son is also depressed. But he tried to commit suicide so clearly he’s way more depressed than me. /sarcasm. I’m not trying to play the depression olympics with tis other person. I cannot measure levels of depression. He was always a bit of a manchild before his breakdown and I cannot imagine that he is coping well. This entry was posted in depression. June 30, 2009 at 5:54 pm. Exactly&#46...

nothoughtcontrol.wordpress.com

I’m back. No choice really | No thought control

https://nothoughtcontrol.wordpress.com/2009/11/02/im-back-no-choice-really

My heart of darkness. But it’s different with you…. Next Post →. I’m back. No choice really. November 2, 2009. The black dog walks ever by my side. It is omnipresent. The drugs do not work. I am losing hope. Every day my experiences and feelings are dismissed. Everyday the will to live is drawn from me with gasping breath. How much do I owe my progenitors? Does the debt diminish if I detail the abuses? Does kicking, hitting and belittling decrease my debt, even just a little bit? I want to cut so badly.