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around the perimeter: Overhead/Overheard

http://theperimeter.blogspot.com/2013/12/overheadoverheard.html

Get out your bicycle and chip off the rust. Monday, December 09, 2013. I'll have a Pepsi," he says. Who orders a Pepsi? Like, on purpose? Did Pepsi just pay you to order their soft drink on this flight? Rewind an hour or so. In utter irritation and disgust she tosses her frizzy, middle-aged hair. With her dry voice, the flight attendant guilt trips us into checking our bags and alerts us that one of the lavatories is broken. I suddenly realize I would much prefer to be at the proctologist. Later comes a ...

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around the perimeter: The Many Uses of Vodka

http://theperimeter.blogspot.com/2009/07/many-uses-of-vodka.html

Get out your bicycle and chip off the rust. Friday, July 31, 2009. The Many Uses of Vodka. According to the website Divine Caroline. There are many household uses for Vodka, other than drinking. I disagree. I don't believe one should waste a spirit with such propensity, only to degrade it to Martha Stewart-esque craftiness. Caroline's Top 10 non-drinking uses are:. 1 To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive. 9 Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bott...

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around the perimeter: Ode to My Shoes

http://theperimeter.blogspot.com/2009/03/ode-to-my-shoes.html

Get out your bicycle and chip off the rust. Wednesday, March 25, 2009. Ode to My Shoes. Sometimes I forget that I'm the bomb. Life knocks me down. People get in my way. Recessions leave me feeling powerless. When I feel this way, I just look down. At my shoes. My shoes are really awesome. My shoes elongate my full 6'3" frame and make me hold my chin parallel to the ground, reminding me to walk tall with certainty and determination. I grow out of my shoes like a lotus flower from a lilly pad.

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around the perimeter: A Toast To My Friends

http://theperimeter.blogspot.com/2009/10/toast-to-my-friends.html

Get out your bicycle and chip off the rust. Sunday, August 30, 2009. A Toast To My Friends. I wonder how long it takes to forget the fastest way to drive from the South End to Beacon Hill or the quickest way to walk from the North End to the movie Theatre on the Commons? I want to pick on a few of you who have colored (I’m looking at you Amy) my 10 years here:. Anne Continelli, you are such a cunt. Let me recount our first conversation:. Me: Are you a lesbian? Anne: Did you just pirouette? Anne slept ove...

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around the perimeter: Life in First Class

http://theperimeter.blogspot.com/2009/10/life-in-first-class.html

Get out your bicycle and chip off the rust. Thursday, October 29, 2009. Life in First Class. 8220;Would you like a drink? 8221; I pause my i-pod and look the over-waxed, flamboyant airline steward square in the face. I enunciate slowly, “Scotch. Two rocks.” “Coming right up, sir. We’re going to be taking off in a few moments, so please put your headset away.” “Got it,” I snatch. Who says “headset” anymore? They are evil and need to be destroyed. 8220;Do you think we’ll ever get outta here? 8221; Fuck&#46...

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around the perimeter: Cooking Gay: Thanksgiving Edition

http://theperimeter.blogspot.com/2010/03/cooking-gay-thanksgiving-edition.html

Get out your bicycle and chip off the rust. Tuesday, March 02, 2010. Cooking Gay: Thanksgiving Edition. I must begin by thanking the women who have helped me pursue my love of cooking homosexually: The Gregarious Julia Child who taught me how to tie and season a roast while other kids were watching the Superbowl. Thanks to the diligent editing of Ruth Reichl from Gourmet Magazine (may it rest in peace now that all of those hideous pedestrian magazines have stolen its shelf space. Cooking Light?

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around the perimeter: June 2012

http://theperimeter.blogspot.com/2012_06_01_archive.html

Get out your bicycle and chip off the rust. Saturday, June 23, 2012. I Got A Boob Job. We all have issues with our bodies. The worst part about getting older is having to eat less and exercise more in order to keep in relatively good shape. I fucking love eating but I also love being thin. Finding some balance will be a lifelong struggle. Fast forward to my 20’s. I managed to stay fairly thin even though I put on about 20lbs of “long term relationship” weight. Career success gra...The man boobs that haun...

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around the perimeter: My Inner Rapper

http://theperimeter.blogspot.com/2009/03/my-inner-rapper.html

Get out your bicycle and chip off the rust. Wednesday, March 25, 2009. I came up with this in the shower today, I don't know why. I've been listening to a lot of old school LL Cool J and Kanye West lately:. Booty shaking to a champagne toast. More shady than a craigslist post. Gettin' skinny don't mean to boast. Got a chicken that I need to roast. Break dancing on a taxas floor. Call the ER, ready for more. Jam tomorrow, jam yesterday. But never ever mother fucking jam today. Ode to My Shoes.

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around the perimeter: resuscitation vacation

http://theperimeter.blogspot.com/2009/05/resuscitation-vacation.html

Get out your bicycle and chip off the rust. Tuesday, May 12, 2009. I want to go undersea in a diving-bell. And return to the surface with ominous wonders to tell. Essie and I went to Rio De Janeiro about a month ago. Everyone keeps asking me "how Brazil was", to which I respond with a detached, "great." It was our second time there so there were no real new surprises. Our good friends Ben and Robert met us there which made for more ambitious day trips than had we been left to our own devices. Rio renewed...