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This is where you can find my comedic ramblings, sarcasm, misinformed opinions, prophesy and general nonsense. Comedian, Modern Day Prophet,. Genius, Pastafarian Minister. I am a Pastafarian Minister. Ordained in The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I officiate weddings for friends and family. The land of lumpy.

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This is where you can find my comedic ramblings, sarcasm, misinformed opinions, prophesy and general nonsense. Comedian, Modern Day Prophet,. Genius, Pastafarian Minister. I am a Pastafarian Minister. Ordained in The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I officiate weddings for friends and family. The land of lumpy.
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Home | lumpythoughts.com Reviews

https://lumpythoughts.com

This is where you can find my comedic ramblings, sarcasm, misinformed opinions, prophesy and general nonsense. Comedian, Modern Day Prophet,. Genius, Pastafarian Minister. I am a Pastafarian Minister. Ordained in The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I officiate weddings for friends and family. The land of lumpy.

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lumpythoughts.com lumpythoughts.com
1

Weddings

http://www.lumpythoughts.com/services.html

100% success rate. All marriages performed to date are still intact. You know how to contact me, or find someone who does. Services available to friends, Family and fellow HOG chapter members. Looking for something nice (or not). Free-ish (weddings performed for food and drink).

2

Home

http://www.lumpythoughts.com/home.html

This is where you can find my comedic ramblings, sarcasm, misinformed opinions, prophesy and general nonsense. Comedian, Modern Day Prophet,. Genius, Pastafarian Minister. I am a Pastafarian Minister. Ordained in The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I officiate weddings for friends and family. The land of lumpy.

3

Ramblings

http://www.lumpythoughts.com/ramblings.html

Death by bacon. Amen. As a child, I recall waking up in Sunday mornings to the smells of bacon frying in the kitchen. A sleepy half coherent husky boy in a stupor lying beneath the covers, tickled to semi-alertness by the smell of pig in a pan. I envision Hell’s gates are that tasteless faux turkey bacon charred beyond being edible. Hard, rubbery, bitter, foul Fakeon (fake bacon). Hell wouldn’t have bacon at all, only tofu. Everything tofu. Got to hell hell. You’re not bacon. These are my Bacon Thoughts.

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